My name is Al. And I'm an alcoholic.
This is true, but I am also a senior citizen, a maple syrup connoisseur, a student, a PIKE PHIsh brother, and a father of two.
I came to PIKE PHIsh to find an identity that could replace my loner upstate Vermont status, and one was provided. But a man forms his own identity over a lifetime of experiences. PIKE PHIsh is part of my identity, but it has no higher share than every other facet of my personality, interests, and everything I have learned.
I consider myself to be a very lucky man. I've made mistakes. An obscene amount of mistakes. Mistakes that are hard to fix, and that I haven't even bothered trying to fix. I am lucky to have a daughter (and, deeper down, a son) that will never stop loving me. I'm lucky to have friends that I can trust and depend on, despite the age gap. Hell, I'm lucky to be getting a degree at a top notch university and avoiding the absurd tuition.
Life is good, only took me 63 years to realize it.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Where to go from here
Chelsea took off this afternoon. I told her all about the party tonight. She was interested, definitely would have come if I had pushed it, but I didn't think it was the right situation to put her in, especially after all our bonding this weekend. I've decided to keep family and frat life separate. It's best that way. I don't agree with some of the things that happen at PIKE PHIsh, but the bros are good people. It's hard to understand the heart of a fraternity from the outside, and stereotypes make it nearly impossible for a lot of people (Daniel and Sheila included.. Chelsea I just don't want to see taking tequila shots and getting hit on).
I'm pleased with my membership in PIKE PHIsh... I've met a lot of people and made some good friends, tasks that would probably have been difficult or non-existent had I spent my freshmen year commuting to class from Hinesburg. That being said, Chelsea's visit opened my eyes to a lot of things that I had forgotten about over the last several years.
I'm pleased with my membership in PIKE PHIsh... I've met a lot of people and made some good friends, tasks that would probably have been difficult or non-existent had I spent my freshmen year commuting to class from Hinesburg. That being said, Chelsea's visit opened my eyes to a lot of things that I had forgotten about over the last several years.
What a night!
Things turned out better than I could have possibly hoped for! I am going to run through this as fast as possible because it's Saturday and there is a lot to be done in preparation for tonight.
I picked her up from the hotel at 730 and we headed to the restaurant. I was nervous. Conversation was shallow and awkward. At the restaurant things started to relax, and she asked me how UVM was going. I gave her a very censored version... somehow trying to describe what I have been up to to here without mentioning a word about PIKE PHIsh. Finally she took my hands and cut me off: "Dad. You sound like Daniel. I know about your fraternity. I think it's great that you're making the most out of your college experience despite your age. Tell me about your life!"
The ice was shattered and I was extremely relieved. I told her everything... sans the more embarrassing stories about myself and those involving excess substance abuse. I told her I was happy. She told me she was happy.
We had a couple drinks after dinner and I realized the time, 10:30, I had to get to Relay.
"Chels, this has been a great time. I'm very glad you came to visit, it means everything to me. I know I haven't been the world's best Dad to you, and I regret it. You turned out better than I think I could have influenced, I suppose I know deep down that your mom is a great woman and mother. I need to be at a fundraiser at UVM in half an hour... unfortunately.."
"What fundraiser? I'm not going back to watch a $10 movie in my room, I'm here to visit you! Take me along!"
Chelsea and I walked the circle, representing PIKE PHIsh (yes, an interesting image, 63-year-old man with his college-aged daughter representing a frat). We walked and talked for 3 hours (I'd say fuck the wasted kids that missed their shifts, but I couldn't have been happier). We talked about everything: what she is up to in life, Daniel, plans for the future, even how Sheila is holding up. I had forgotten how great family can make you feel. Holding this conversation with my daughter made me more happy than anything PIKE PHIsh has ever provided.
I picked her up from the hotel at 730 and we headed to the restaurant. I was nervous. Conversation was shallow and awkward. At the restaurant things started to relax, and she asked me how UVM was going. I gave her a very censored version... somehow trying to describe what I have been up to to here without mentioning a word about PIKE PHIsh. Finally she took my hands and cut me off: "Dad. You sound like Daniel. I know about your fraternity. I think it's great that you're making the most out of your college experience despite your age. Tell me about your life!"
The ice was shattered and I was extremely relieved. I told her everything... sans the more embarrassing stories about myself and those involving excess substance abuse. I told her I was happy. She told me she was happy.
We had a couple drinks after dinner and I realized the time, 10:30, I had to get to Relay.
"Chels, this has been a great time. I'm very glad you came to visit, it means everything to me. I know I haven't been the world's best Dad to you, and I regret it. You turned out better than I think I could have influenced, I suppose I know deep down that your mom is a great woman and mother. I need to be at a fundraiser at UVM in half an hour... unfortunately.."
"What fundraiser? I'm not going back to watch a $10 movie in my room, I'm here to visit you! Take me along!"
Chelsea and I walked the circle, representing PIKE PHIsh (yes, an interesting image, 63-year-old man with his college-aged daughter representing a frat). We walked and talked for 3 hours (I'd say fuck the wasted kids that missed their shifts, but I couldn't have been happier). We talked about everything: what she is up to in life, Daniel, plans for the future, even how Sheila is holding up. I had forgotten how great family can make you feel. Holding this conversation with my daughter made me more happy than anything PIKE PHIsh has ever provided.
Chelsea
We spoke this evening. She is out to dinner with Daniel. I was invited, but she called at a bad time... I considered driving drunk to meet my children at Single Pebble reeking of marijuana. Then I reconsidered. Damnit, you're a fucking idiot, Al.
The good news is that I will be having dinner with Sheila tomorrow. Daniel is at a conference for the weekend, but Chelsea has agreed to stay Friday night so we can connect. Reservations are set for 8 at Leunig's, and I assume I'll be dropping her back off at the Sheriton afterwards. I have to be at the Athletic Campus circle at 11 for Relay, anyway.
We'll see how this goes... ahh, wish me luck, please.
The good news is that I will be having dinner with Sheila tomorrow. Daniel is at a conference for the weekend, but Chelsea has agreed to stay Friday night so we can connect. Reservations are set for 8 at Leunig's, and I assume I'll be dropping her back off at the Sheriton afterwards. I have to be at the Athletic Campus circle at 11 for Relay, anyway.
We'll see how this goes... ahh, wish me luck, please.
Weekend Strategy
This weekend is Relay for Life all night on Friday. PIKE PHIsh is throwing a massive party on Saturday. Chelsea is arriving in Burlington on Thursday.
I haven't seen my daughter since her 19th birthday, 3 years ago. We speak on the phone regularly... quazi-regularly. Probably once a month... although I've been slacking on that the past few months. I wonder if she knows what I've been up to? I don't even know how close she is to her brother, Daniel. I figure that if her mom, Sheila, knows about my frat scene, she would by no means be allowing Chels to visit. Which leads me to assume that Daniel has kept things hidden?
That would be good news. However, it would also mean that it is completely my responsibility to explain to Chelsea just what my situation at UVM is. And brace for the reaction.
I'm sure I'll get a call from her when she gets in on Thursday. I definitely need to spend time with my daughter while she is in the area... I like to think she is at least partially coming to visit me, as well as her brother.
I haven't seen my daughter since her 19th birthday, 3 years ago. We speak on the phone regularly... quazi-regularly. Probably once a month... although I've been slacking on that the past few months. I wonder if she knows what I've been up to? I don't even know how close she is to her brother, Daniel. I figure that if her mom, Sheila, knows about my frat scene, she would by no means be allowing Chels to visit. Which leads me to assume that Daniel has kept things hidden?
That would be good news. However, it would also mean that it is completely my responsibility to explain to Chelsea just what my situation at UVM is. And brace for the reaction.
I'm sure I'll get a call from her when she gets in on Thursday. I definitely need to spend time with my daughter while she is in the area... I like to think she is at least partially coming to visit me, as well as her brother.
Results
1. Killed smoked salmon eggs Benedict at Sadie Katz... one of the best discoveries I've made in Burlington
2. Made it to 2/3 of my classes (that ain't bad, or so I've been told).
4. Ate Indian food at the Davis center. They pile it up for me, thinking I'm a professor.
3. Sent out a list-serve message to PIKE PHIsh basically demanding names on my Relay for Life sheet, no way in hell am I walking that circle for a 5 hour shift, these lungs/legs/heart are NOT what they used to be. If people don't get back to me I'll just sign up all the NIBS myself.
4. The money acquisition isn't really my job, I'll have to talk to AJ about whether we want to donate, otherwise fuck it, I don't wear T-shirts much anyway, I do indulge in yayo on occasion.
5. Failure. Ran into Daniel on campus, he didn't even say a word about my absence in his class this morning, but he did tell me that my daughter, Chelsea, is visiting Burlington this weekend. Nothing more, just that she is in the area. I guess that's something I should be thinking about.
2. Made it to 2/3 of my classes (that ain't bad, or so I've been told).
4. Ate Indian food at the Davis center. They pile it up for me, thinking I'm a professor.
3. Sent out a list-serve message to PIKE PHIsh basically demanding names on my Relay for Life sheet, no way in hell am I walking that circle for a 5 hour shift, these lungs/legs/heart are NOT what they used to be. If people don't get back to me I'll just sign up all the NIBS myself.
4. The money acquisition isn't really my job, I'll have to talk to AJ about whether we want to donate, otherwise fuck it, I don't wear T-shirts much anyway, I do indulge in yayo on occasion.
5. Failure. Ran into Daniel on campus, he didn't even say a word about my absence in his class this morning, but he did tell me that my daughter, Chelsea, is visiting Burlington this weekend. Nothing more, just that she is in the area. I guess that's something I should be thinking about.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Stress alleviation
Chilled in a bedroom at PIKE PHIsh watching the Best of Chris Farley DVD. We went through half an ounce of trainwreck and three vicodins apiece. I needed this. The week gets unbearable by Tuesday night for me, consistently. Just woke up on the couch and I swear to you there is still a haze in the air, cut by the bright sunlight. Looks like a nice day outside. Missed Daniel's class by a couple hours, oops.
Al's To Do List
Breakfast, get to at least one of my remaining 3 classes, lunch, fill the Relay for Life roster, take $100 out of the snow fund so we can rock T-shirts at the event, avoid contact with family.
A typical Wednesday, I suppose.
Al's To Do List
Breakfast, get to at least one of my remaining 3 classes, lunch, fill the Relay for Life roster, take $100 out of the snow fund so we can rock T-shirts at the event, avoid contact with family.
A typical Wednesday, I suppose.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
